In Christ, always… jams4JESUS

August 30, 2010

Oh my God, why?  Have I not done all these things at Your Word?  Have I not loved You with all I have, with all I am?  I know I fail You.  Oh my God, I am so sorry.  I can’t get the job done for You.  We are known by our fruit.  I am but a wasteland.  I look around (I again, am sorry) and I see others, whose ways are an abomination before me and You, and yet they have, and receive increase.  Oh my God, I do not want others to be hurt or not have, but these things come as stones upon me…  Mountains of adversity, deceit, grief. 

YOU have brought me devotionals about anger… even toward You.  Is this so?  I love You!  YOU are all I have, all I want, all I trust, all I need, all I seek!  It is Your love, Your face, Your arms, Your provision, Your words, Your guidance, YOU I want for me!  If this is envy, anger, strife, bitterness, whatever wicked way in me, take it from me.  I feel that I am the adulteress, a prostitute of ill repute.  Slay me Lord, that I may be cleansed, Glorified in YOU!  This sin of mine Lord, I do not want.  I beg forgiveness.

Oh my God, but what am I to take from this injustice?  What am I doing wrong?  Perhaps, You love him more.  You love him more!  On my face I cry… “Oh my God can I have the scraps, the overflow?  Whatever is left over from Your table, I will gladly take.
Oh my God save me, from myself.  JESUS!”

Oh my Lord, I deserve nothing for the crimes I have committed, but as I lay across Your court… “MERCY”!


So I was given… a Beacon
August 31, 2010

As I awoke, I heard a great voice… “He has been given what he has asked for.  Yours (blessing) is higher… what you have asked for.”  Oh my God, if this is You, make it crystal clear to me… and it was then, I was given “a beacon”.  A great light filled me, my sight, and I saw what appeared as a lighthouse with a windmill propeller projecting brilliant, gradient beams of light across my area of vision.  The outgoing circles of movement were swift, steady, bright… and I was blessed.

…from prison to prisms

Thank You Abba Father!  Thank You Jesus!  Thank You Holy Spirit!  I LOVE YOU!!!  I deserve nothing, but You give me You… EVERYTHING!

And after the blessing, the instruction… Daily Devotional “Releasing Guilt”.  (see below)
I too, like Dr. Charles Stanley, grew up with the Thou shalt nots, a constant weight of guilt and worry, and the burden of rules…


About jam4JESUS

I... 'will seek [First] the LORD my God, and I will find Him if I seek Him with all my heart and with all my soul.' Deut. 4:29 I... 'shall love the LORD my God with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength.' Deut. 6:5 I... 'Trust in the LORD with all my heart, And lean not on my own understanding; In all ways... acknowledge Him, And He shall make my path straight.' Proverbs 3:5-6 I... 'remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you' 2Tim. 1:6 I... 'thank God, whom I serve... without ceasing... I... remember YOU in my prayers night and day,' 2Tim. 1:3 I... am to 'Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let my requests be made known to God' Phil. 4:6 I... KNOW: 'I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.' Phil.4:13 'My God shall supply all my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.' Phil. 4:19 'My GOD will never leave me, nor forsake me.' Heb. 13:5 JESUS so loves me, this I... KNOW
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4 Responses to In Christ, always… jams4JESUS

  1. sharpword says:

    Reblogged this on Sharpword's Blog.


  2. sharpword says:

    When we are raised in a critical loveless family we become judgmental and cold. Many years after I had come to Christ, I remembered a time when I was riding my pedal bike on the street near home, when a girl close to my own age walking past me said hi in a very kind voice, I replied “Who the ..ll are you?!! Ughhh! When I remembered that I was stunned and cried for forgiveness. I asked the Lord why I had said that because I was so in need of a friend that it was absurd. He just reminded me that I had been conditioned to that in my family environment. I grieved sorely for the harm I might have caused that young girl, and I saw how jaded my heart was at such a young age too.


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