Who am I … NOT!
Yesterday, I spoke from the Scripture verse “Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that You have brought me this far?” [2 Samuel 7:18]; to address a functional ‘need to know’ in my life. Today, of equal importance, I seek clarification into another matter… ‘Who I am… NOT!’
In order to come by this ‘need-to-know’ information, one [I] must first seek the Lord [Matthew 6:33], with a humble and submissive heart for HIM [Deuteronomy 8:2, 1 Peter 2:18, Phil. 3:3, 8], and trust in HIS understanding [Proverbs 3:5-6], HIS provision [Phil.4:19], HIS sovereignty [Psalm 103:19], HIS love [John 3:16], HIS parenting [Matthew 7:7-12], HIS PROMISE [The Holy Bible]!
Who am I… NOT!
I have discussed in some detail the revelation of the ‘Prayer of Jabez’ for my life. If one truly prays into this Scripture, proverbial doors… open. It is very important that we address all the lines in the prayer, omitting none as insignificant to our cause.
And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying,
“Oh, that You would bless me indeed,
and enlarge my territory,
that Your hand would be with me,
and that You would keep me from evil,
that I may not cause pain!” [1 Chronicles 4:10]
“And Jabez called on the God of Israel”… ASK, SEEK, KNOCK! BELIEVING!!!
“Oh, that You would bless me indeed”… I want everything You have for me, nothing more, nothing less.
“and enlarge my territory” … Expand my mind and sphere of influence toward You. Heaven’s the destination.
“that Your hand would be with me” … From this one, I begin today…
“Who am I… NOT!”
In attempting to capture what it is like to have the Hand of God upon me, paralyzes me… in a good way. “I am NOT… GOD!” I know I am pale, but a speck before HIM, but what an honor to have Him anywhere in my vicinity. But I have to remain humble… Knowing that being a child of God, with all the bells and blessings that go with this prestigious title, still carries an equally significant responsibility. I stand in His presence and give ‘account’.
Being accountable to God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit that guides… I petition: “and that You would keep me [us] from evil”. Consider what your life might be like if you never experienced failure, temptation, and pain. What lessons would you have learned? What motivation would have moved you? Who would you seek guidance and respite from? You see, a certain degree [and God knows exactly how much] of what we call negatives, is necessary for our s-t-r-e-t-c-h of this great race. [Philippians 3:12-15]
If I may offer a suggestion here? When you pray “and keep me from evil”, focus your petition around avoiding unnecessary evil, rather than just strength in dealing with it. I myself grow very tired of ‘doing what I do’ and then expecting God to make good on it, when I fail. I do not want to fail before HIM, the first time. But I have, and do. Therefore… “I am NOT… PERFECT!” [Or close to it.] I need a Savior! [Philippians 1:6]
And for these reasons… I ask you sisters and brothers, to where prompted by the Spirit, having seen here any misrepresentation of the WORD or deed, in loving-kindness, please make an offer of reproof. With this being said, I have opened a door for possible heretical communication. Let me be honest and upfront with you, I will not engage in heresy. [Romans 12, Luke 16:15, 2 Corinthians 10:12-13, 2 Timothy 3] “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful acts of darkness, but rather expose them.” [Ephesians 5:11] I would, however, love to talk “Jesus” with you and I welcome your input.
“Oh my God… cover me!” “I am NOT… WORTHY!” “I have no entitlement to anything unless You deem it so, Lord. I am not worthy to even look upon Your sandals, but I so want to be ‘worth it’ to You.” The Lord knows “I do not just ride the sin wagon, I drive it!” I would have loved to have written this statement in past tense, but knowing that my driver’s license is a ‘Class S’ for sin status, my reigns are but a temptation ‘down the wrong path’, away. “I fail HIM!”… and usually on a daily basis. But behold, there is hope for me, in Jesus… anew. Dear Lord, I pray, let old things pass away… [2 Corinthians 5:17]
“that I may not cause pain”… Is exactly what it sounds like. Jabez was accursed from birth and many of us may feel the same, but we also all cause painful experiences to those around us. Often, it is the ones closest to us, geographically and emotionally speaking. It is usually not our desire to do this, but it is done. I myself, find the greatest hurt; the one(s) most damaging; to come from a false witness of HIS name, HIS reputation, HIS family, and HIS residence. I have not felt a pain from attack so deep, or so abundant, then I have from within the house of God.
Again, I do not believe it is anyone’s intent to harm, but we do it. I see this as lack of faith. “I am NOT… FAITHFUL!” I do not believe, trust, listen, love, or speak HIM enough. When not in constant prayer [1 Thessalonians 5:17], the enemy takes notes [John 10:1, 11-13, 1 Peter 5:8]. When not seeking HIM first [Matt. 6:33], we disrespect Him… His instruction, His love [John 14:21], His discipline, His sovereignty, His provision, HIS judgment, HIM! O ye [me] of little faith. [Matthew 17:20, Luke 12:28]
“I am NOT… RIGHTEOUS!” Apart from Jesus, The Vine [John 15], I am cut off and can take nothing for myself. It is by His Blood, a living water, that my slate is wiped clean. It is through the Spirit of God, that I am called, justified, given ‘right standing’ [NLT], and in the great end… glorified! [Romans 8:27-30]
“I am NOT… JUST!” I, like the rest of the human element, desires: justice for all other’s crimes, fairness in everything, reward for every good deed done, visibility in what matters most, conviction, discipline, applicable revenge, or in some cases corporal punishment, for those who harm or disagree with thee [us]. OK, maybe it’s just me I reference, but take note… By the same standard I [we] judge, I [we] will be also judged. By the same measure and intensity by which I [we] measure, I [we] will be measured also. [Matthew 7:1-6] And… justice and revenge is God’s alone for all! “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ” VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.” [Romans 12:19] If we do it, God doesn’t. I pray… “O Lord, teach me to love enough to get out of Your way.” There is Good News… JESUS! “But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.” [1 Corinthians 11:32]
“I am NOT… TRADITIONAL!” My name’s not Martha! My name is Julie. I am not still, quiet, meek, or a traditional Proverbs 31 woman [in role or interest, nor am I valued as such]… outside of Proverbs 31:1-9. I am what I call ‘domestically-challenged’. For so long I felt self-contempt for my inadequacies, and there’s a list. Why couldn’t I be like everyone else? Answer: I am ‘different’. The Lord designed me and placed me in a childhood home where it was I that would serve to protect, guide, and lead my siblings that followed… out of abuse. I have tried to be something that I’m not and have failed miserably for it. In my struggle to find my place [house], I found God’s grace…
The roles in which we serve, whether as men or women, do not define who we are… but rather, what we do. So, where do I fit in…
God had formed me and created me [Psalms 139] ‘for such a time as this’ [Esther 4:14]. Has there been a more appropriate time in history, for a woman credentialed, to be valued in roles of leadership?
My Father in Heaven, passed down to me, experiences and skills of defense… to lead, protect, and make critical decisions, for past, present, and future battles. As a child, I was forced to think, carry responsibility, and protect others, like an adult. As an adult, I found my successes in rescuing children.
And my Lord sees ‘the good part’ [Luke 10:42], when I break through any barrier to sit at His feet [quietly], carry His oil [with devotion], spread His Word [with commitment and passion], Praise Him [above all else].
It is my desire to “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those who are perishing. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.” [Proverbs 31:8-9 an Oracle from King Lemuel’s mother to her son]
You see, HE did not make me a Martha, but like… an Esther, a Deborah,… a Mary! I’m not Martha, my name is julie!
I could spend the rest of my time reviewing with you, my “am NOT’s”, because I have that many. But at the end, the TRUTH is, was, and always will be…
“I am NOT… UNLOVED!” [“The BIBLE tells me so…”] God so loved me, HE gave His ‘firstborn’ son, for even me… I Believe! [John 3:16]
“I am NOT… DEFEATED!” [Romans 8:26-39] “37 … despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will NOT DIE, but have everlasting LIFE!” [John 3:16] “Looking at them, Jesus said, “With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.” [Mark 10:27]
For all the things I am NOT, HE says I am worth it. And I can qualify this statement, every time I look to the Cross!
“Who I am… NOT!” becomes “Who I am… to HIM!”