“I saw before me, high and lifted up, a BIG [double-sized] chair. Upon the seat sat ‘our Father’. There appeared on His face, smiles mixed with laughter, as He watched His children dance and play before Him. I saw myself, the child, run to Him with open arms and heart and beg to sit with Him. HE pulled me to Himself and placed me on His lap, next to His heart. There were no words from me, just warmth. It was then He leaned down and whispered in my ear… “For you, I have a hope and a plan!”
Like father, Like son…
So where does that leave me… the daughter? Although my memories are limited, I can still remember the “me and my dad times”. There was me, my dad, and… “the dump”. I was his partner in grime and as a team; we eliminated the waste from our lives and those of our family.
I had the ‘blessing’ of being the oldest of four of his girls. And until his son arrived 21 years later, it was I who ‘played’ he. My name was suppose to be Matthew James. They all thought I was a he, before I was me. I suppose it was a compromise when I look back now at my nickname… “Dewey”. I guess it wasn’t too much of a stretch from Dewey to Julie. And also poetic, as when I first began to speak, I referred to myself as “Do Do” [Hum… back to the dump]
Like father, Like son… so where does that leave me?
Let me tell you… It leaves me smack dap in the middle of my Father[s] heart! There is no other relationship on this Earth, like that of a father for his daughter. The bond so strong, it’s unshakeable, and not even sin can tear it apart. This love affair, of which I speak, dates back to the beginning. You can read all about us [Holy Bible], but you will have to read ‘closely’… “I was a he, before I was me”. She, he, they, son, daughter, man, woman… are mere sir names to our Father. Our gender speaks to the role we ‘play’, not where we sit with Him.
As for me, you may find me…
I stopped at this point in the blog to get ready for church [Father’s Day Sunday], having experienced a block in how to express, in exact passion, my love affair with my Abba Father. I know now why I was not to finish yesterday, but today. It is impossible for me to put into words the absolute completeness of how HE blesses me, but I feel the need to try, and do so in His timing, not mine. And from this desire to ‘show’ you, comes the blessing…
As I stood in worship on this certain morning [Father’s Day 2011], I experienced a Father’s Love for His child. I saw before me, high and lifted up, a BIG [double-sized] chair. Upon the seat sat ‘our Father’. There appeared on His face, smiles mixed with laughter, as He watched His children dance and play before Him. I saw myself, the child, run to Him with open arms and heart and beg to sit with Him. HE pulled me to Himself and placed me on His lap, next to His heart. There were no words from me, just warmth. It was then He leaned down and whispered in my ear… “For you, I have a hope and a plan!”
It was then… I was whisked back to worship.
I can’t begin to tell you what His words [all of them] mean to me. I am breathless, speechless, dumbfounded, and mesmerized in amazement by His love for me. He met me right where we needed to meet. HE gave me a Father’s Love for His daughter. And, the good news for me is, He has tailored His blessing according to how He designed me… from the beginning.
You might be wondering why I share the Him & me at all… I will tell you that I so desire to honor my Father and do His will, and above all things, I want to so love Him with all my heart. When my Lord says jump, I want to jump high with faith. When He says write, I want to write “well done” to serve Him best. When He says “Speak”, I want to speak the Gospel Truth… with only the truths that He gives me.
So why are we talking? A few years ago, in a farewell communication with a pastor I so love and respect as an awesome shepherd to our most high God, he said to me…
‘If I can disciple you in any way, it would be that you disciple women. They need to see your strength and direction [faith]… they need to see the Him in you.’
As of recent, my heart has found new love for my sisters-in-Christ. For decades, I would say and my actions would mirror this, “I would rather gnaw off my limbs, then be in a room with all women.” For today, I see the need to love them like Jesus. As I would look around, I could see a powerful anointing on numerous women and I would think… “Why are they not moving forward. What blocks their way?” I know it is not God that hinders their passion or blocks their path to Him, but who, what?
I visualized a scene… While seated in a congregation, I saw and heard the pastor over and over preach on discipleship and sounding the charge and the petition… “And whom shall the Lord send?” Several hands were raised [all consisting of women]. The Pastor sighs and then speaks again… “And whom shall the Lord send, who will go… Is there no one?” He walks away defeated by discouragement.
I want to state up-front that the above ‘scene’ is not meant to hurt, but illuminate the journey of thoughts leading up to my revelation. Matter-of-heart, with regard for my present house of worship, my spirit dances for the hope and plan HE has for them. I have seen a new love and song sung by the Senior Pastor that delights the Lord’s heart, even more than mine. This certain pastor finds his hope in the leading of the Spirit… and we all are blessed.
As the Lord has shown me… we don’t get to pick our assignments, but we do have choice in how we receive and carry out our mission. And at the end of that day, that mission, we are to say with open heart… “Thank You Lord, may I have another!”
The mission, the revelation, that the Lord has shown to me for such a time as this, is to “disciple women”. What the Lord has shared with me… for you sister… is that when you read The Truth [Holy Bible], you read it as God’s child. No gender allowed. There is no more need to dismiss or be discouraged by “sir names”. God wants you, even you, because it is you! She who has an ear to hear… hear and read like your Father whispers “For you… I have a hope and a plan” … like FATHER, like SON!
For my dad, this Father’s Day…
I thank God for you, Dad. No one else would have worked as hard at being my dad, as you. The truth be known, probably no one else would have bought a ticket for that ride. I guess you are the lucky one, or rather, chosen one?! Thank you for hanging in there or just hanging on. At the risk of sounding parental… I LOVE YOU! I am proud of you! And I am honored to call you “my Dad”.